Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Why Now?

As the year 2013 ends, and 2014 begins, I have decided that I want 2014 to be the year of positivity.


That is an easy answer. While social media, newspapers, tabloid magazines, and television news is a great source of sharing thoughts and feelings about something, it all comes with a serious amount of negative energy. Putting someone down, discussing what is wrong with the world, complaining when things aren't going our way, etc., are all things that certainly do not lift us up.

I continuously have deep and thought-provoking conversations with my husband, Matt, and I realize that so many of those discussions revolve around social injustices, world issues, family problems, and politics. It's no secret that life is tough. Really tough. The more I talk about these things every single day, the more depressed I get about the state of the world around me.

Then, while watching old home videos with Matt last week, Matt and I started a discussion about what it was like losing my father at a young age. I realized after a few minutes that I wasn't talking about how hard it was, or how much I cried. Somehow, I chose to talk about all of the happy times I had with my dad. While I miss my dad a great deal to this day, I can't help but be completely overwhelmed with how honored I am to have had almost seven years with a dad that absolutely, positively, loved me more than anything. Some people have fathers that are alive, but have never been there for them, or cared much for them. While my dad isn't here with me anymore, I consider myself so lucky.

Earlier in 2013, I had this idea of making a blog about things that I love. For no other reason than to share what makes the sun shine on a cloudy day for me. I want to share where/who/what I turn to find my silver lining in this mess of a life. I figure that spreading happiness and positivity can't hurt... right?

Throughout the year, I had a medical issue that greatly affected my standard of living. I was sad. Really sad. I felt like it was the hardest thing in my day just to get up in the morning. I eventually decided that it was time to try medication. The first medication I tried came with some crazy side effects, but the worst was that I didn't feel like myself. All emotion had been sucked out of me. It was like I was faking emotion to seem normal. Withdrawal from that medication was incredibly challenging. Finally, after trying something new, I can say that I feel like I should feel. I am finally myself again.

If you know anything about me, or if you've ever met me, you know that I am sometimes overwhelmingly enthusiastic. When I love something, I LOVE it. My heart and soul goes into everything that I feel passioniate about. I want to shout my joy and passion from the rooftops. So, when my new medication made me cry at every little thing that brings me happiness, I knew I was better. It sounds silly, but it's true. When Stephanie Tanner was reunited with Mr. Bear after thinking that he was given away, I sat on my floor getting overly emotional. It. Felt. Awesome.

*If you don't understand my Full House reference, don't worry, I'm sure we'll get to that later.*

This blog will be a place for me to share my favorite things with anyone who cares to listen. It's also going to serve as a place for me to look back on all of the great things in my life when I might need it most.

This is a "NO NEGATIVITY" zone. I ask that if you hate something I love, to not even bother to comment with some negative response. As Barbra said, I don't want anyone raining on my parade. Life is juicy, juicy, and you see I gotta have my bite, sir!

Happy 2014, everyone! It's gonna kick ass.